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We have all seen it in movies, and many of us have experienced
it in reality. One or two negotiators sit patiently in a conference
room awaiting the other side, who are late. At long last they
enter, and a large phalanx of principals and lawyers deliberately
walks in, sitting in precisely their assigned seats so as to
eclipse the opposite side. Each of them slaps down large volumes of
documents on the table. The lead negotiator sits in the middle,
directly across from the outnumbered party and slyly grins,
thinking that a profound power imbalance has been established.
It has. And so has an informational asymmetry. In this
author’s experience, which includes countless examples of this
dynamic, the one or two opposite should greet that moment with a
genuine smile from ear to ear. This is particularly so if each of
them sits in front of a blank sheet of paper because every detail
of the dispute is completely committed to memory. (Quite another
power imbalance arises when one side can recite what matters
without notes, but the other needs to ask someone at the end of the
table to rummage through a briefcase.)
Typically, if not invariably, only the lead negotiator of the
large group speaks, or perhaps one more on occasion. The rest are
relatively junior window dressing, and none of them has authority
to say anything. This is because the lead negotiator is trying to
manage the messaging personally, but it is only the smaller side,
ideally a single negotiator, that can truly do that. The larger
side is at a systematic disadvantage of its own making.
It is an almost hackneyed observation that 93% of human
communication is nonverbal. The exact percentage is immaterial, but
clearly most is. We are programmed to read people without hearing
them, and this starts at birth when the words we hear are nothing
but gibberish and miscellaneous sounds. Anyone who has enjoyed
making faces with a curious baby sitting a few tables over
understands this. Additionally, nonverbal cues are very difficult
to fake. Even professional poker players routinely wear hats and
sunglasses to hide their tells – and one might be forgiven
for assuming that they should have fairly good “poker
faces.”
The problem for the large group is that only two people are
talking to each other across the table. Presumably they are the
most senior and/or most capable in the room. Some in the large
group are there to learn. Others are having a billing event because
the client believes the other side will be intimidated by their
mere presence. Still others, and these are the most important, are
truly on the inside and know exactly what the lead negotiator is
thinking and why – needs, wants, fears, night terrors,
“squeak points,” etc.
What is inevitably true for all of the “bit players”
on the large squad, however, is that all of them are gratuitously
communicating nonverbally (and without authority) throughout every
session, and not one of them is a professional poker player wearing
a hat and sunglasses. They may be observing the small team, but so
is the more experienced lead negotiator to whom they answer, and
that person is staring across the table seeing the same things they
are, and understanding it all at least as well. In other words,
they can do plenty of damage to their cause, but can add little, or
no value.
By contrast, the other side has the benefit of saying what is
meant, meaning what is said, and at all times staying on message,
both verbally and nonverbally. Moreover, while doing so, that
negotiator has the benefit of absorbing the nonverbal feedback of
relatively junior people who just left the breakout room and know
what their lead is thinking and feeling. This author has seen such
people literally nod in response to suggestions that might have
been thought to be outrageously aggressive. Cues like this can make
an enormous difference in outcomes.
As the world finally gets back to normal, and people meet
face-to-face to reach agreements sealed with actual handshakes
followed by wet signatures, negotiating parties should bear this in
mind: Sometimes less is more, and more is less.
The content of this article is intended to provide a general
guide to the subject matter. Specialist advice should be sought
about your specific circumstances.
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