Florida Man usually prefixes some nonsense that belongs in a comic villain’s plot. It has happened so frequently that there is a tongue-in-cheek theory that all of the news outlets covering Florida Man shenanigans are actually all about one guy. Following this theory, there’s a major development in the Florida Man canon — he’s a lawyer. From The Guardian:
A Florida attorney pleaded guilty on Friday to using a rifle to try to detonate explosives he placed outside the Chinese embassy last year in Washington DC… Under the terms of his plea deal, [Christopher] Rodriguez and prosecutors agreed that an appropriate sentence for him would be seven to 10 years in prison.
This isn’t Rodriguez’s first explosive- and statue-themed rodeo. He admitted to shooting two explosive canisters that damaged a statue of Lenin and Mao in Texas back in 2022. No clue how he was still free enough to attempt adding another bombing notch under his belt, but it probably had something to do with the statues being lefties and not busts of Chuck Norris. Nobody messes with Chuck Norris.
Word to the wise? Limit destroying your opposition to writing briefs. Bombs and Molotovs haven’t been going well for lawyers.
Florida Lawyer Pleads Guilty To Chinese Embassy Bombing Attempt In DC [The Guardian]
Chris Williams became a social media manager and assistant editor for Above the Law in June 2021. Prior to joining the staff, he moonlighted as a minor Memelord™ in the Facebook group Law School Memes for Edgy T14s. He endured Missouri long enough to graduate from Washington University in St. Louis School of Law. He is a former boatbuilder who cannot swim, a published author on critical race theory, philosophy, and humor, and has a love for cycling that occasionally annoys his peers. You can reach him by email at [email protected] and by tweet at @WritesForRent.
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