The best way to state a fundraising offer

Want to see a situation where a very small changing wording makes a meaningful difference in fundraising results? You’ll find it on the Better Fundraising Blog, at One Test, Three Lessons.

Yes, the post has three very useful lessons. But I want to focus on one of them. You’ll have surf over there to see the other two.

It’s about a direct response test to some offer language, with two very similar sentences went head-to-head:

  1. Your gift will provide clean water to a person.
  2. Your gift will provide clean, disease-free water to a person.

#2 did better.

This probably doesn’t surprise most people, but it’s worth looking at why adding “disease-free” pulled in more donations.

The post says it’s because those extra words embed the problem in the solution.

It reminds donors of what their gift will help fix.

Here are some more examples of problem-embedded solutions:

  • “You can provide no-strings-attached financial aid to a student.”
  • “Your gift will provide a Bible in a person’s own language for just $4.”
  • “You can provide healthy, non-fast food meals to a person living in a food desert.”

Embed the problem in the solution: it’s an easy way to improve the way you describe a fundraising offer.

See more posts in this series.

#state #fundraising #offer

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